I love the rain. The smell of it and the way the sky gets grey as the sun takes a break behind the clouds. Some people hate to be caught in the rain. But to me, it’s like being in a scene from a romantic French film or the finale of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, where they find “Cat” and embrace each other.

Finding Cat - with vibrant fresh roses in front of the TV

With all smelly wet cats aside, the scene really reflects the storm of emotion that the lead characters were living through. I can relate; I have spent the past two weeks in a cloud of emotion... and inspiration. Still mourning the death of my father, I have had a few dark nights of the soul. Life seems to be constantly reminding me that this moment is all we have and we must live it! Not just try but absolutely do it because you may not get a chance to live it again. Why not express the creativity within me?

I have moments just like many creatives do, scared to express myself for fear of rejection. However, my calling as an artist is to live bravely, using the fear as fuel to drive more confidence in my heart, using that tension to reveal the artistry in others. Easier said than done! I am resolved to think of this as a process. As I grow each day I make myself more open and free to do the imaginings in my heart and step out on Faith to make it happen.

I was recently at B&J Fabrics, my favorite fabric store in the city, and worked with one of my favorite sales associates there. She has always been so supportive of me - ever since my interning days at Vera Wang. She was there when my mom passed. But happened to be away when I returned from my father’s funeral in Mississippi, so this was her first time seeing me since his passing. Being her supportive self, she leaned in and gave me the nicest hug!

I went on to mention, as I have blogged about here, how weird it feels to be so young and have both of your parents no longer in this realm. She commented on how her young daughter asked her why she had to be up so early to rush and make sure she’s ready for school - busy like this every morning! She responded by saying “one day, when you are older, you will see how hard and demanding it is to do this for your little one in the mornings.” Her daughter commented “I will have a long, long time before that happens.” In that moment she realized that she may not be around to see her daughter’s children grow up because she had her when she was older (like my parents had me).

Of course, this had me in tears in the middle of the fabric store. That conversation reminded me that every moment is a spiritual experience. Whether it’s walking to work and catching a glimpse of the most perfect yellow rose in the window of Peter’s Flower Shop, connecting with the barista at Macaron Cafe - lamenting (ironically) that the taste of coffee doesn’t do a thing for either of you, or looking in the eyes of a mother and seeing her human-ness and vulnerability. Connection…amazing! With a heart as open as this you must wonder how I manage to remain positive on the mean streets of NYC. It amazes me too! LIVE LIFE INSPIRED.

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